Ploafmaster General

I finally reclaimed the rest of my missing Weezer collection.

It's been about 6 years since I lost my original copies of Weezer's so-called Blue Album and Pinkerton, and though I was able to acquire the excellent 10th anniversary copy of the former, I'd held off on the latter in hopes they would release an equally tasty anniversary edition.

Alas, they didn't - spurning Pinkerton once again as they did when it failed to achieve commercial success the first go-'round. So last night I finally located a copy of the truly excellent rock album at Barnes and Noble in the Near-West End of Richmond.

I sure have missed such fantastic tracks as "Tired of Sex," "Across the Sea," "El Scorcho," and "Butterfly." The lyrics, the guitar solos, the bass lines - everything is fantastic. I think what really sealed the warm-fuzzies in my mind was the drive to Target later in the evening - Valerie, her sister, and myself cruising down the highway and Broad Street singing "El Scorcho" at the top of our lungs.

While I continue to mourn for the death of Rivers Cuomo's quality songwriting I'm relieved to reconnect with what is, in my opinion, some of his finest work.

I know I only have a few readers, and I know of those, none of you really listen to Radio Paradise (though I know Mugs has before). But PLEASE take a minute to read this clearly articulated description of the crisis now facing all internet broadcasters.

I know using a word like "crisis" is a bit dramatic, but consider the creativity, flexibility, and freedom that comes from being able to run your own low-cost broadcast station, and the choice that provides to music lovers everywhere: niche stations with no commercials, rare music otherwise unheard of, and creative DJs who favor intricately crafted play lists over the latest top 40 drivel.

Though I'm not entirely surprised that our government has favored business interests over the arts and fair use, I'm still really pissed off that the Copyright Royalty Board essentially ignored other opinions and went right along with the requests of the abominable RIAA. Screw those guys.

Valerie picked Talladega Nights for her Netflix queue, and tonight we watched it. Or, well, I did while she snoozed. That happens a lot - even with movies she likes.

I give this flick, co-written, co-produced, and starring Will Ferrell, 3 stars out of 5. The acting was alright, the humor, as my buddy Dave indicated, was limited mostly to what you saw in the commercials. The story was light, the cameos were gratuitous, and the film-making was amazing.

I was floored, actually, to finally see a major studio release a comedy that I felt contained excellent directing, photography, and editing. Full letterbox, well-composed shots, gorgeous color, and fantastic cuts that made portions of NASCAR racing exciting even to me, if only for those abbreviated scenes.

The film-making, I'd say, actually saved this movie from a crappy 2. Good show, Andy McKay.

I think I figured out why I've been so tired...

You see, Valerie decided that she wanted to give something up for Lent. She chose one of her favorite things, french fries. I figured I'd help her out by also giving up something for 40 days, so I decided to give up soda. All soda.

Of course, most of the soda I imbibe is of the caffeinated variety. Since I rarely drink coffee in any form, I've been without caffeine for over a solid week now. And I'm running ragged. Let's see how I fare by St. Pattie's Day, and even more so...by Easter.

Oh boy. I saw Ghost Rider tonight. That's a solid 1 out of 5 stars. Maybe less, but really, I'll stick with whole numbers for simplicity.

I think perhaps if you can overlook the script, the acting, the film score, and the photography, you may have...well...um...lots of gratuitous special effects. Yup. Oh! And Sam Elliott. Yeah. That's really about it.

I really only saw this because I was going with some buddies. I kinda expected it would be crappy, and oof - I wasn't disappointed. Or well, you know.

I don't know why it took me so long to find it and start watching it, but I've been hooked on Ze Frank's, "The Show."

It's always witty, often hilarious, and quite intelligent. Go watch it before he stops producing it in mid-March.

Wow, Mugs. Great job.

My brother has redesigned his website, and I have to say it's lookin' pretty slick in all its minimalist glory.

Go check it out...Pickles...

Q: I hope I can still ask a question for ask dan. If I can…what would our country be like if we elected a leprechaun as president?

A: Well Elizabeth, of course you can still ask a question...I think that deadline business was intended to allow me time to research a response...but mostly I just make it up as I go along on Fridays. So don't worry about asking by Wednesday anymore, and don't worry about posting the question in the last Ask Dan post - worry about me gleaning any question from any comment, and using that as a lame excuse to perpetuate this feature :-)

So Leprechauns, eh? I think we may already have had a leprechaun for a president...or at least somebody close to one. You see James Madison, our 4th president, was a mere 5ft, 3 and 3/4 inches tall. The only problem is that he was English, not Irish. Though I suppose nearly 5'4" is still a bit taller than a Leprechaun...

I believe a Leprechaun president would face a new set of challenges being so short, though I see several distinct advantages:

First, such a small president would be a difficult target, increasing the safety of the world leader. He'd be so small, in fact, that you may be able to secretly hide him in some unlikely places, thus avoiding danger. Nobody would expect to find the President of the United States of America cruising down a sidewalk in a baby carriage.

Second, everybody knows that Leprechaun's have crazy amounts of gold. Hello moneybags, goodbye national debt.

Leprechaun's are traditionally believed to be cobblers...so, um...free shoes for everybody? Maybe? Come on, work with me here...

Finally, at such diminutive stature, our Leprechaun president could finally see eye to eye in peace talks with Kim Jong Il. Crisis averted!

So there it is...question answered - if you believe it.

Post them questions in the comments, and check in next week for another installment of Ask Dan.

The forceps of our minds are clumsy forceps, and crush the truth a little in taking hold of it.
- HG Wells

Slate has a hilarious article up about Ultimate Fighting...

So this past weekend, of course, I was in Tallahassee to see my sister-in-law, Elizabeth, perform her senior violin recital.

As the lighting was too low to allow for photographing a musician-in-motion, I decided to try making a little video clip with my digital camera. So here it is, with poor sound quality and all (but still a good showcase of Elizabeth's talent):
[youtube [www.youtube.com/watch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkVTRQEoKNE&w=425&h=350])

Check out this crazy dude playing the flute and beat-boxing at the same time, to the tune of the Inspector Gadget theme song (with a touch of Axel F thrown in there):
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59ZX5qdIEB0&w=425&h=350]

He also covers Super Mario Bros., and Sesame Street. Thanks to Elizabeth, my sister-in-law, for the tip.

Open it? If it had been that straight forward, I wouldn't have called Helpdesk.

EDIT 2/20/2007: Dang it, the video is no longer available. It was a funny medieval version of tech support though...

I have no idea why I never heard of this before, but the fellas at Aardman Animation (hello...Wallace and Grommet?) have created a series of short claymation toons that are available for viewing on YouTube.

For your viewing pleasure, here's one of the latest:
[youtube [www.youtube.com/watch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWWuW_ce7jk&w=425&h=350])

Valerie is zonked out in bed, but I can't go to be right after a big meal, so I don't feel bad staying up to write this post on Valentine's Day.

Tonight Val and I had an 8:30 reservation for dinner at 1 North Belmont in the Museum District of Richmond. WOW.

This was one of the best dining experiences I've yet had in my short quarter century, and as I really do mean "experience" I'll start with the service. One word sums up the staff, and that is attentive. I felt as if my wife and I were guests of the whole crew, each of whom made sure we were not without cocktail, bread, or water. The timing was perfect, neither rushing us through courses nor waiting too long to check on us. One gentleman in particular, Terry, was absolutely friendly without being intrusive while the bar tender was a master of his craft, personally delivering his alcoholic alchemy to our table.

And the drinks! We didn't have many, but each of Val's two Cosmos (with Grey Goose) was consistently perfect, while my Tanquaray No. Ten and Tonic was expertly mixed.

But we didn't choose this restaurant for the service and mixology. Chef/proprietor Frits Huntjens crafts a frequently changing selection of impressive appetizers and entrées. Valerie and I both started out with the Bisque aux Fruits de Mer - seafood bisque. Our bowls were brought to our tables nearly empty at first. In each was placed a piece of jumbo lump crab meat, a shelled and deveined shrimp, fresh chopped tarragon, a drizzle of cream, and a small piece of cheese, I believe. A waiter then came to our table with a serving dish full of the bisque and ladled two generous scoops into each of our bowls. A few drizzles of Pernod were added to each bowl, and what a difference it made! I've had my share of bisque, but the liqueur really set off the expertly blended flavors of the lobster, shrimp, and crab.

Next came the beautifully presented main courses. Valerie chose the bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin which included a potato croquette and some wonderfully decorative and culinarily complimentary vegetables. I ordered the tuna.

Pardon me while I gush.

My amazing dinner consisted of pan-seared sashimi-grade Ahi tuna split by an asiago cheese crostini (what essentially looked like a rough-edged potato chip, but all broiled cheese) and served on a bed of creamy saffron risotto. To the side were some delicious roasted string beans and young carrots. Surrounding the fish was what really made my dinner, however - a ginger-infused beurre blanc sauce. Oh my. The tuna was fine on it's own, but almost demanded to be dipped into this perfect creamy compliment. It's easy to have too strong a ginger flavor present, but the balance was expert. Rarely has tuna tasted so incredible.

I could not, however, stop at dinner. I needed dessert. Valerie was mostly full at this point, but tasted some of my chocolate mouse. The dish was served in an edible chocolate cylinder with raspberry coulis drizzled across the plate. Amazingly fresh berries and freshly whipped cream joined the confection on the plate.

Were I a richer man, I would surely be a regular of this fine establishment rather than a once-a-year special occasion diner. I'm always tempted to experiment with the more adventurous luxury foods such as fois gras or sweetbreads, but at these prices my proletarian paycheck forces me to stick to the foods I'm confident I'll enjoy. But oh my, did I enjoy this.

Cheers, and Happy Valentine's Day, two minutes before midnight!
Daniel

...and funnier than many stand-up comedians. Guest-writing on Michael Ruhlman's blog, Bourdain pretty much nails down how I feel about the Food Network these days - and even shares many of my opinions about their cadre of stars.

I do believe I'll be scouring Da Webs for more of his writing. I have to force myself to stifle my laughter whenever I come across any of it.

You know, I'm sick and tired of seeing the following on websites:

"...So and so likes to [insert sarcastic italicized word/phrase here] (read: [insert true meaning of statement here])..."

A good example is on the otherwise excellent Daring Fireball:

"...but that Apple “seek” (read: “pay for”) a license..."

I know I've probably been guilty of it myself at least once, but I'm starting to see it EVERYWHERE. I've already seen it on two completely different sites today (including DF), with different styles, purposes, and audiences. There are a few things that bug me about it.

First, it's not really funny anymore. I'm sure somebody started using that device for the purpose of emphasizing the lunacy of a discussed topic. Now I see it at least once a day. Why did the chicken cross the road? To peck your eyes out for using a joke that stopped being funny the second time you heard it.

Second, I don't like the way this device functions. It assumes you didn't get the sarcasm in the first place. When you examine the contextual use of the "(read:)" element you see that it's at least redundant and at most presumptuous.

Finally, why on earth is it structured in such a way? Writers often use parentheses to contain explanations or extensions of preceding statements. Why, then, do we need to add "read:" inside the parentheses? It's as if the author is saying, "Just in case you don't know what to do with the following words, you should read them. And assume that's what I really meant." d00d, teh sux0rz.

I just read a fantastically interesting op-ed piece in the New York Times that explores the hypothetical possibility of California, among other states/regions of the US, splitting from the Union.

The reasons, implications, and related concepts are pretty fascinating both politically and economically. Worth a read.

I just found a website called indexed (yes, it's lowercase) that seems to have scans of index cards, each of which contains an info-graphic of some kind. There are x-y graphs, Venn diagrams and other such charts each illustrating a humorous concept.

My favorite so far?

Mugs is wound tighter than a 311 snare drum as he anticipates the decision of UDel's grad program.

Consequently, he's started venting his stress through highly amusing writing along with some poetry on his site.

Go read it now. Share in his stress with a good belly-laugh.

I just got a new pair of kicks in the mail today - the Alchemist Lux by Medium Design Group.

Very nice pair of shoes - the attention to detail is incredible, inside and out. You can actually find a better visual overview at Zappos, but I have to say that these look even better in person. From the deep brown leather accents to the high-contrast yellow stitching, these are excellent footwear.

Yes, I know this is out of place for me, seemingly, but ever since I went to Italy I never saw shoes the same way. Even the aging middle-class "every-man" wears cooler shoes than Americans do. Does this mean I need to wear cool shoes? Certainly not. But I've certainly come to like them - and not for vanity (I doubt the coolest of treads would bolster my social standing even if I wanted them to), rather a growing appreciation for the well designed.

Holy crap!!! Kenna is coming out with a new album! Go, quickly, to his MySpace page and check out the song, "Better Wise Up" - it's the super HOTNESS.

Q: If a nuclear war happened at Florida State (in the middle of the woods, on a mime), would anyone care?

A: Well, Mugs, that depends...would my sister-in-law still be there? If so, then yes, I and the rest of her family would care. If she'd already graduated and left, then no. Probably not...

Though I dare say it would be more entertaining if a mime, um, mimed the stages of nuclear war, in the woods, at FSU. Who wouldn't love to see a face-painted gentleman imitate the disintegrating human body? Or moreover the many stages of radiation sickness?

And speaking of sickness, as Ask Dan limps along on its last legs, be sure to post questions for next week in the comments section!