Self-Unmade Man

I am not getting enough sleep.


Every so often I find myself staring vacantly out of the office window. When I catch myself, I wonder how long I’ve just been standing there like that.

My neck hurts because I’ve been nodding off while sitting on the sofa while my kids play with trains or legos or whatever. Sleeping on my face at night has exacerbated the pain.

When I’m really out of it, I get cranky/snippy/just plain awful with my family. I’m more likely to snap at people or lose focus when they’re talking to me. This isn’t unique to my situation; sleep deprivation brings out the worst in any of us.

I don’t have insomnia. I don’t know whether I have any sleep disorders, so don’t go recommending a CPAP just yet. I make my own sleep problems. I stay up way too late on any given night even though I have a 2.5-year-old alarm clock that’s guaranteed to wake me between 6 and 6:30 AM. Whether it’s reading, playing a game, or futzing around on the internet, I can’t make myself go to bed before 11 most nights.


Lately, I have the attention span of a young dog. My consumption of energy drinks has escalated, but I’m not sure whether it’s working. Tonight, when my phone reminds me to go to bed by 10:30 in order to get my desired amount of sleep, I will lie to it for the umpteenth time by tapping “I’m going to bed now.”

I am not getting enough sleep.