A: Elizabeth, you first have to realize that I’d never want the responsibility and 24/7 pressure of the office of President of the United States of America. So much stress. No rest. No real time off. For at least four years.
Unless you’re kicked out…
So here’s what I’d do. I’d throw the first ever Oval Office Keg Party. For realz. I’d have heads of state doing keg stands while members of my cabinet bonged cheap brew from another keg in the corner. The secret service would be around to make sure nobody drove home under the influence, and to keep things from getting too rowdy. Then we’d all go for a ride in Marine One, buzzing the tops of well-to-do townhouses in Old Town Alexandria before landing in the middle of I-95, just to disrupt things a little more.
I figure that’d get me impeached in less than a year. And if not? I could always start a war with Luxembourg, or something.